![]() Key staff are now starting to leave the White House. Barack Obama: I won't like, but, look, this is a tough transition. Just in case anybody is still debating whether I'm black enough, I think that settles the debate. Barack Obama: Although, while in England, I did have lunch with Her Majesty, the Queen, took in a performance of Shakespeare, hit the links with David Cameron. Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe. Even some foreign leaders, they've been looking ahead, anticipating my departure. Barack Obama: But it's not just Congress. We're gonna do this right here, right now. They're in the House, which reminds me, security, bar the doors. In fact, I think we've got Republican Senators Tim Scott and Cory Gardner. But on everything else, it's another story. Unfortunately, this dinner was not one of them. Barack Obama: Of course, in fact, four months now, congressional Republicans have been saying there are things I cannot do in my final year. It's really going to … It's a curve ball. And this is gonna take some getting used to. Barack Obama: In just six short months, I will be officially a lame duck, which means Congress, now, will flat out reject my authority, and Republican leaders won't take my phone calls. The only way you can date her in photos is by looking at me. Barack Obama: But, meanwhile, Michelle has not aged today. He's the future." And I said, "Justin, just give it a rest." I resented that. Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you. ![]() In fact, somebody recently said to me, "Mr. Now, I'm awake anyway because I got to go the bathroom. Barack Obama: Hillary once questioned whether I'd be ready for a 3:00 a.m. And look at me now, I am gray, grizzled, just counting down the days till my death panel. Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor. In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific. Barack Obama: Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics. But standing here, I can't help but be reflective and a little sentimental. It's like learning to do three-minute planks, and she makes it look easy now, but, next year, this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it's anyone's guess who she will be. Barack Obama: My brilliant and beautiful wife, Michelle, is here tonight. If this material works well, I'm gonna use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Barack Obama: Anyway, here we are, my eighth and final appearance at this unique event. I was running on CPT, which stands for jokes that white people should not make. The end of the Republic has never looked better. Barack Obama: It is an honor to be here at my last and, perhaps, the last White House Correspondents Dinner. Barack Obama: You can't say it, but you know it's true. You may have to select a menu option or click a button.FULL TRANSCRIPT: "Obama out" President Barack Obama's hilarious final White House correspondents' dinner speech (transcribed by Sonix) Follow the instructions for disabling the ad blocker on the site you’re viewing.You may have more than one ad-blocker installed. You’ll usually find this icon in the upper right-hand corner of your screen. Click the icon of the ad-blocker extension installed on your browser.When it turns gray, click the refresh icon that has appeared next to it or click the button below to continue.Click on the large blue power icon at the top.Click the UBlock Origin icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.It will turn gray and the text above will go from “ON” to “ OFF”. Click on the “ Ad-Blocking” button at the bottom.Click the Ghostery icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.Switch off the toggle to turn it from “ Enabled on this site” to “ Disabled on this site”.Click the AdBlocker Ultimate icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.“ Block ads on – This website” switch off the toggle to turn it from blue to gray.Click the AdBlock Plus icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.Under “ Pause on this site” click “ Always”.Click the AdBlock icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.Adblock Adblock Plus Adblocker Ultimate Ghostery uBlock Origin Others
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